finding my groove again

I heard a song that reminded me of Zumba class today. If you don’t know what Zumba is it’s a Latin dance inspired exercise program and for many years it was my only means of exercise (other than hiking). I love dancing but there aren’t really nightclubs around Monterey and let’s face it, I’m not a youngster anymore, and late night dancing would wreak havoc on my body. I have a 22 year old daughter that should be out experiencing late night dancing…not me. So Zumba filled something I felt was missing in my life. Between my foot, then my knee and now my other foot though I have only done it sporadically over the past 3 years and in that time both my favorite instructors left. Unlike other exercise programs…you want your Zumba instructor to be really good. I’ve had some horrible ones and it takes the fun out of the class.

Anyway, today I heard a song that reminded me of Zumba and I texted my husband to tell him I think I needed more Zumba in my life and then burst into tears. And I can’t stop crying. I guess I miss Zumba more than I thought. Although I suspect it goes deeper than that and now I just need to figure out what it is. Some plausible reasons:

  1. My body seems to face ailment after ailment these days and I never feel like I am 100% as I was just 5 years ago. Consistent exercise is hard. Maybe I just need to power through it all.
  2. My body desperately needs endorphins and I am actually experiencing a little bit of depression that I was completely unaware of.
  3. During my very active Zumba stage I was friends with a girl and that friendship has since fallen apart and I link Zumba with her often (even though she didn’t do Zumba with me) so maybe there are lingering feelings I’m experiencing still. We never had any closure so that may have cropped up just now.
  4. The simple answer may just be that I am PMS-ing hard. The more complicated answer may be linked with my feeling older.

Anyway, I scheduled a Zumba class this Friday on my day off and hopefully it’s just what I need. I’ll keep you posted.